Are you good enough for a PhD?

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By Zhu Yuanyuan SHE PhD.

I never thought I was good enough. Born in a traditional Chinese family, the idea of ‘being modest and learn from others is deeply rooted in my heart. As a child, I received compliments from my family when I got high scores, but at the end of their compliments, they would never forget to add ‘Keep going, next time do even better!’

In elementary school, I realized I was neither a top straight-A student, nor the most popular one. In high school, I was neither the most rebellious, nor the bravest one. I was brave enough to skip classes for ‘cybercafe’ but not brave enough to confront my teacher. When I was caught, I couldn’t help crying in front of my teacher, afraid he would tell my parents. During the first three years of college, I was never the best in all contests. There were always people who looked good and yet good at everything. In the first year of graduate school, a classmate published five articles when I just started to outline what I wanted to work on. As you can imagine, I do not always enjoy people commenting on what I did not do well. With all these experiences, I came to SHE.

“Am I doing enough for my study?” I asked my supervisors this question in our second meeting. They told me I was doing pretty well, but I was not buying it. It is a stereotype in some Chinese students (like me) that ‘foreign’ supervisors are always too nice and always say ‘good job!’ even if you are a mess. After a few more meetings, I started to realize maybe they were telling the truth because they also gave me advice on what I could improve. Weirdly enough, I felt very comfortable listening to them telling me what I did not do well in my studies. It might be true that no one likes to hear people telling you what you're not good at, but the way they delivered it was very comfortable. Sometimes I even found myself looking forward to their comments. I believe it is very hard for me to accept their advice not for the way they communicated with me: open, supportive, and a shared heart to make a difference.

Yes, I’m doing good enough. This does not mean I am perfectly competent in my own PhD study, but rather, it means I have gained a better understanding of what it takes to become a competent and happy PhD student: effective communication, open-minded attitude, and persistence. Thanks to my supervisors and some ‘virtual’ colleagues, I see myself doing better, becoming more confident and determined to do enough. Finally, if you ever had the thought ‘Am I enough?’, Yes, you are, otherwise you will not be reading this article. Take your pace because as the Chinese proverb goes ‘It takes ten years for a tree to grow, but it takes a hundred years for talents to be nurtured.’

Zhu Yuanyuan is a current SHE PhD student on the topic: “Boosting autonomous motivation with learning and teaching community”

On Wednesday March 24 and Friday March 26 we had our regular SHE presents new candidates sessions. Click here to watch Yuanyuan’s presentation.